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    The Skeleton's Diary


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    Join date : 2010-12-14
    Age : 22
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    The Skeleton's Diary Empty The Skeleton's Diary

    Post by StootiGee on Sat Dec 25, 2010 3:39 am

    The Skeleton's Diary

    Chapter 1 (The Creation Story)

    In the beginning, there was a creeper.
    Now the universe was formless and empty, and the creeper was trotting into infinity.
    And the creeper said "ssss" and there was boom. The energy released by this creeper's rather stupid self-destruction ruptured both time and space, causing trillions of creepers to flood into the universe. They all exploded simultaneously, sending energy
    spinning throughout the universe.
    Fast forward six billion years, Earth was created.
    While the creepers had all died, some other things were brought into this world by that fateful explosion - humans. They found themselves stranded by this rupture in the universe, and attempted to make a living in the hostile world. Fast forward 10,000 years and those humans have evolved into
    smart beings, capable of surviving in the unknown. But, there was one man who could bring an end to that. Stevo had plans. Plans that could pulverise the entire world, but he did not know that. He, while experimenting within the deep caves of their world found that water poured onto lava could create a material nearly indestructable. He found that this material had somekind of special
    properties that could allow it to seemingly vapourise anything within it, when placed in a door-like shape. Now Stevo did not know that this material was a modified multiplying synthetic material created by the Fathers. The Fathers were the people from which the rupture tore a people into this universe. Now, he did not know how it specifically worked. So, being the thick person he was, he put TNT upon the black material, and blew it up. This caused the portal to open indeifintely, and he was sucked into the world of the Nether. But then also a large amount of various animals were too. The TNT caused the portal to malfunction and it begun sucking in anything from both the Nether, and the world. Every living thing with blood running through it's veins was sucked into this Limbo between the Nether and the world, and some were even mashed together in this chaos. Thus the creation of the zombies, humans who, through the malfunction in the portal, were sped up in time and aged, but didn't die, creating zombies. Then the zombies were mashed together with the pigs, forming zombie pigmen. They were blasted into the Nether, along with millions of megatonnes of TNT stocked up by the nearby humans. It exploded. The Nether turned from grassy green to firey red in a matter of seconds. The spiders caught up in the chaos were disproportioned, making them huge. Humans turned into zombies and then, if they stayed in the limbo for too long, skeletons. Creatures were flying this way and that. Most were flung back into the world, however some were flung into the burning Nether, and destroyed. However, the fire white heat became so intense it created a new being, a Ghast. Then Limbo destroyed itself. It blasted apart and the world was torn into pieces. Many, many, many years later, the land had returned to normal, and creatures flourished among the lands. Then suddenly, the explosion from all those years back reverberated, and a human was flung into the world. And that, is how the world begun.

    Chapter 2 (The diary)

    Hey, I'm Dunkel. I'm one of the more experienced skeletons out there. As you can probably see above, I live in this screwed up universe. Yeah, that's right - if Stevo hadn't been such a pyrotechnic idiot, I might not be a skeleton. I don't know how it works, but hey, I'm here and we are all pretty much up the crapper.
    Yeah well, here I am, stuck in a cave right now. Barry said he spotted a human spawn (yeah that's right, these things just 'appear') on the North edge of C29. We were making our way there, but then the sun started coming up. I gotta tell ya, I'm suprised no-one has made sunscreen for skellies! We burn. I mean BURN, literally. You think SPF 30 is good? Mate, SPF 30 would increase your chances of surviving in the sun by exactly zero for skellies and zombies. Crap huh?
    So I'm in this cave, and most of the skellies and zombies are burning. Most of them are a bit on the thick side, if you know what I mean? Eh, they come and then they burn. I'm not sure where Barry is, he said he'd scout ahead for a better cave... Oh, here he is now. Behind me. Barry seems to have found an underground tunnel system! Sikk mate! I can't tell him that though, we don't have a language. Or maybe it's the fact we don't have voice boxes. Not sure.
    Anyways, here we are. Seems we found that stinking human's tunnel system. It's funny because I don't actually know why we chase humans... I mean, I get my bow and shoot at them, but if I kill them, I don't know what to do after that. Oh well, I guess I'm just a sheep following the crowd.
    Into the tunnels we go...

    Chapter 3

    We've been walking for 3 days now, and no sign of the tunnel ending... We actually saw the human the other night, zip past of one of them minecarts. Cheating bastard was using a booster cart! Manipulating glitches? Should be illegal...
    Barry reckons there would have to be teams of humans manning this huge system of tunnels. Don't ask me how I know that, I don't even know how we communicate. We just know what each other's 'thoughts' are. I am working on a system to help us communicate, but that'll come later...
    *dramatic music* I see light! Barry signals not to move (yeah, us skellies of the Boiz clan developed a signaling system!) and we wait not making a sound. Three humans jump past, making their way down the railroad. Three! There must be so much stuff we can loot off them! We creep upwards, and enter into their building. Chests! A whole bunch of them.
    These humans actually have a fairly impressive setup here! I can tell Barry's impressed. Back to the chests, they have six double chests! These dandy humand probably have them locked with a password. I go up to them and make a feeble attempt to open them.
    Damn, as I suspected they are locked. Well, I have a fair bit of experience, so I try some of them passwords that some of the nooby humans use. xXminecraftXx... no. password... no. bestbuilder... no. ilikemen... no. Hmmm... These aren't your average humans. Time for the second plan. I grab my bow and start shooting the helloutta the chests, and BAM, they open. In case you didn't know, chests have feelings too! You can ask them nicely, but I like to cut the crap and keep it simple - so I shoot them.
    Now, let's see what's in these babies.

    Chapter 4

    My eyes glisten in the sight of such gold(I don't have eyes, it's a metaphor ok?).
    So much redstone dust! I stock up on as much I can, eight stacks of redstone, one and a half stack of gold, a half stack of diamond, 3 stacks of steel and alot of wood and stone! Score! Oh Barry, he's more interested in that random human contraption over there...
    What's he up to? The old chum, some day he's gonna walk into sun. Oh well. A lever. Spells trouble. No Barry don't CRAP! Oh, mate, it's just a door. We walk down a hallway lit by redstone torches (dumbass humans trying to light a hallway with redstone torches...) and then, out of nowhere, sunlight. No Barry! Damn, too late. Barry burns and burns and then suddenly, he is gone. Damn. But Barry is soon forgotten, for I see a wonder in front of me.
    These humans may be the stupidest creatures to roam this land (apart from those suicidal jumping creepers), but when they pull together, they pull together. A huge city, there must be, at least twenty humans living in this place.
    And, if my landmarking is right, close to the SSZCUCA (Spiders and Skeletons and Zombies and Creeper United Creature Association) headquarters. I must warn them of this threat! Twenty well armed humans could easily annhiliate us, and place torches to stop us from creating a revolt. I must hurry!

    Chapter 5

    After scurrying past a VANGUARD of humans under the cover of night, I arrive at the Great Cave. Here, the darkness allows us to congregate in the masses and... Do stuff. Stupid zombie bouncers, all they do is grunt at you till you push your way past. I do have to be kept in an isolation chamber though, for the spiders are paranoid about somekind of sun staying on you and coming off you type thing. So, three days of isolation begins now. I pull out a workbench and start to think. Sure spiders are the most wise of the creatures, but skellies come in second. I take redstone, some steel and gold and suddenly I have a chip! Oorah. Redstone circuits to the max (I took a two course in advanced circuitry). Chyeah, those stupid humans can't use these little babies (sucked in), but with my knowledge, a bit of circuitry can go a long way.
    Finally, after three days, I'm out. I go before the Council, made mainly of spiders and explain to them what I have found (the spiders developed a type of communication system which only works within the cave, so you can actually talk!) and explain the dangers.
    You might be wondering why spiders make up the majority of the council - it's because they ain't stupid. Spiders are actually rather intelligent. However the moon makes them rather hostile. The skellies are second in the IQ test, proved by our ability to use weapons. Also we can ride spiders sometimes (but you need alot of licensing and registration costs a fortune). Zombies are in next, but they really are brainless, and just like to grunt alot. And then, of course, there are the creepers. These green bundles of joy like to commit suicide in the name of ssssboom. So, their life is really rather dull. Live, chase after humans and not realise there is a WALL there and keep jumping into it and, if they get the opportunity, blow themselves up. Charming. So really, intelligence = apple.
    The spiders decide that our best option is to initiate Protocol 9. Do you know what Protocol 9 is? It's spray human hormones everywhere and have creepers destroy everything, stopping the humans from learning about us! I have got to get out of here!

    Chapter 6

    I walk over the top of the mountain, Halo style, and look upon the place where the cave was. Now it's just a huge crater. I ceebs getting all the stuff these idiots dropped so I decide that I shall make my way to my home town, the Boiz clan. We ain't the biggest bunch, maybe numbering 20 on average. The biggest skelly clan is up in Ahnam land, they got an army, over 100 skellies. But we are the smarter ones. Recently, Johno was working on a gaming console. Yeah, that's right, he made space invaders! It's pretty sikk. It was a bit buggy but I think it'll be interesting to see how he's going.
    I arrive at the clan shelter just before midnight. We have some traps laid out so humans would die trying to find us. Only us Boiz know what the combinations are. What a sight I am greeted with. An absolutely huge redstone torch array, with a fully functional space invaders game. I can tell they're all glad to see me. Gazing at the screen, I can tell. I even have my own room. Complete with megabench. Those humans use these puny 3x3 pieces of crap. Mate, when you go to a shop like Cosco, you can get 9x9!
    I take out the chip I made while in isolation and work on some more complicated circuitry. I gotta tell ya, it is no easy job working on this. But whalla! Here I have it. I'm not actually sure what it is, just some random wires and stuff. But I have a good feeling about this(while studying I had a knack for making circuits blind and not knowing what I'm doing, the result ending up as a masterpiece). Johno should see this.
    Johno takes the chip and sticks it where his voicebox would be, and he begins talking! Wow! Now, we can talk! Soon we have many of these little wonders flying around, and skeletons are experimenting with their newly found ability to talk. Maybe I regret making that. Oh well. I ask for the Boiz clan's attention, and tell them what I discovered. The danger is that a human digs a tunnel right into a cave, and we are discovered and crushed. The skellies agree that we should move up to Ahnam land and join up with the army there. Viva la revolution.

    Chapter 7

    As we trudge through the dead of the night, Johno and his mate Kimbo begin explaining to me their auto human tracking system. Humans stink, and when I mean stink, I mean STINK. Creepers track them through their smells. Disgusting. This stuff they found outside one of them portals. It reacts to human smells and sends an electric current. Using this, they could detect a human an area they wanted. Generally, humans spawn in C29, so these things could track one of these thing's movements! An innovation from a skeleton. The sun begins to dawn, and me rush into a nearby cave. Suddenly arrows are flying everywhere, battle crys fly as we go into battle with an unseen enemy within the caves. My ears hear only screams as I fire my bow. Silence.
    Bones lay scattered about the cave, such a bloody battle it was(even though skellies don't have blood). I look up and see sunlight begin to shine down into the cave. Is this it? Is this how I die? I must die just because SPF 3,000+ doesn't exist? This can't be.

    Last edited by StootiGee on Sat Dec 25, 2010 7:36 pm; edited 2 times in total

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    Join date : 2010-12-12
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    The Skeleton's Diary Empty Re: The Skeleton's Diary

    Post by TheFoxin on Sat Dec 25, 2010 12:25 pm

    tl;dr - creation theory minecraft style

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